Grass Skirt by dazzleglo
by MeetTheMateContest
Summary: Getting away from it all alone in the wilderness is the last place Edward expected to get company.


**Title:** Grass Skirt

 **Summary:** Getting away from it all alone in the wilderness is the last place Edward expected to get company.

 **Pairing:** Edward & Bella

 **Rating:** M

 **Word count:** 4616

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 **Edward**

I knew I needed to get away. Everyone was driving me crazy, including my parents who constantly hover over me. The last straw came when my mother decided to go through my underwear drawer replacing everything with what she thought was appropriate and setting me up on a blind date with a friend of a friend's daughter. I can and did get my own date's thank you very much and there was nothing wrong with my boxer briefs. However, my parents felt I needed to be with who they thought was the right person whether or not we had a connection. I wanted a special connection with the woman who I was going to spend the rest of my life. I didn't need a sham of a marriage. I saw first-hand what that did to a person, my friend Mike Newton let his parents talk him into marrying for the 'family' and now two kids in both of them are screwing other people on the side. It's so bad that most nights Mike doesn't even go home and the second kid he's not even sure if it's his, but doesn't care. They have an understanding him and Jess. I don't want to live my life that way. I want a loving marriage like my grandparents. Theirs was like a storybook romance and while I know that's not always possible, I'd like something similar. I don't want to wonder if the kids are mine or not, I want to know that they are mine.

"Hey bro, you sure about doing this?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, I'm positive. I need to get away."

"Time to cut those old apron strings that mom is strangling you with." Hell even Emmett sees it.

"I need to make the break before I end up in an orange jumpsuit and become an episode on that Investigation ID channel."

"Oh man, you got that right, besides orange would clash with your hair color, definitely not a good look for you." He laughed which made me laugh. That was the great thing about my brother; he could always make me laugh.

"Yeah, peach isn't so bad though."

"I can't believe she went to your place, talk the guard into letting her into your apartment and then refiled through your stuff. Not to mention taking your underwear, seriously that is beyond creepy and weird." Don't I know it.

"Can you believe she replaced ALL my Calvin's, my Calvin's man, with crappy old man white boxers? And the worst was when I flipped out on her, she said I was overwrought and to calm down. How could I calm down?" I was still fuming over that.

"It could've been worse, she could've bought tightie-whitey's!" I groaned, how true. "It's sad to say but mom's a control freak and dad just enables her. He'll rarely side against her if he ever wants to have sex again. And those two go at it like rabbits." Em stated.

"I know that all too well, why do you think I moved out? One too many times seeing dad plowing mom was more than any child needed to see."

"Couldn't agree more man having experienced that too when I've dropped by for a visit. Needless to say, I don't just drop by anymore without calling first." I couldn't agree more with Em on that one either.

"So you sure about this living in a cave business? Seems a little extreme?"

"No, I think it's just what I need, to get away to a place that they don't know where I am and has no cell service." I just couldn't wait for some peace and quiet.

"Alright, if you're sure about this, I won't say a word. Just know that I'll drive up here every other week or so to check on you and bring you some necessities." Em really was a good brother.

"Thanks Em, this means the world to me. I know mom is going to try to torture the information out of you." I kind of felt bad because I knew how mom could get when on a mission.

"No worries, bro, I've got this and if the old lady knows what's good for her, she'll back off. I plan to use my trump card on her for you."

"Your trump card?" I can't even imagine someone would have one against my mother.

"Yes, my ace in the hole. What is the one thing she values and wants above all else?" I looked at him as I wasn't sure. "Grandchildren." Ah, yes, there was nothing more that mom wanted.

"What's your plan?"

"I will tell her that if she doesn't knock it off and stop the shit with us that as soon as you get back from your 'retreat' that we're both heading to the doctor to get a vasectomy." I cringed and cupped my junk.

"Oh god that'd hurt. You'd do that for me?" I couldn't believe he'd so willingly give up having children. Em loved children and wanted a house full of them.

"Nah, we won't be doing it, but I will make her think it. I have a list of doctor's names to rattle off to them. Dad will know the names and will force mom to take this seriously. They both need to start towing the line. Dad needs to man the fuck up and stand up to mom for us so we can live our lives. How do they expect us to find the right woman with them interfering all the time? Every time she set us up with dates, those women were either horrible rabid vipers who wanted nothing more than a bank account to blow through or a chick with no brains that you couldn't even hold a normal conversation."

"I know, that woman Bree, and I use the term loosely, giggled like a hyena the entire time and every time I asked her opinion she didn't have one. What the hell man, she wanted to know what mine was just so she could say it was the same. Worst date ever."

"I get where you're coming from Edward. I want someone who has an opinion of their own and isn't afraid to voice it. Hell at this point, I'd be willing to talk about women's body issues if necessary." Mom seriously has both of us so on edge.

We drove for another hour or so talking about good times we had as kids and things. It was really nice to have this time together. Soon we were pulling up to the small roadway that would lead down to where the cave was set about ten feet above the ocean so no water would be able to get into. The people that ran this place kept everything manicured so it was a short walk to the beach and about fifty yards off the path. They only took cash so there was no record of the transaction so I couldn't be traced. There were three caves in total which were all spread out at least ten miles apart so no one would run into one another. It was perfect, just what I needed.

Em pulled up alongside the path and popped the trunk. I grabbed my gear and Em started pulling other things out as well. "Hey, what's all that stuff?"

"I got you a few things for your vacation."

"Em, I've got everything I need and the cave comes with some amenities, like a cot and pillow." Not sure what he had there.

"Well as luxurious as that sounds, you're not use to living off the grid in the wilderness. In other words, Daniel Boone you are not."

"Alright, I might not be able to pick plants and stuff to eat, but I'm not completely incapable." I wasn't an idiot.

"Listen, I know that, but here, I got you an extra small gas tank grill, folding chair because you my brother with your giraffe legs sitting on the floor for extended periods will be uncomfortable and last but not least, a case of water for emergencies. You never know if you'll need extra."

"Okay, I see your point extra water and gas is good, even the chair," I conceded. "I just didn't want to get carried away you know."

"I know, but just in case I can't get out here or something these are essentials."

"Thanks." He really was thoughtful and I had a feeling my legs would be thanking him.

After dragging the stuff up to the cave and looking around outside at the beautiful scenery, I immediately felt more relaxed. "This place is gorgeous."

"It really is nice, maybe I should join you here," Em said thoughtfully looking out onto the ocean.

"Ah, no you shouldn't," I spit out quickly at him.

"Just kidding, next time we'll get a cave for two and hide from the rents." He laughed. "They'd never find us here." That's for sure and why I selected this place.

The cave was actually not bad, had the cot with a sleeping bag on it and I had another one that Em I insisted I needed just in case I got company from Jane of the Jungle I'd be able to 'entertain' her as the bag accommodated two. There was a small propane stove with a kettle and pot by the entrance to boil water and cook a few things. I brought with me mostly dry goods and fresh veggies that would last a bit. I also had some canned goods as well. It was a great set up.

After getting everything inside and him setting up my chair because you know that was important, I had to roll my eyes at that one. It was time for Em to leave me to my peace and quiet.

"Thanks for taking me here and not telling them where I am hiding for the next month or so." I hadn't decided how long I was staying beyond a month. I would see how I felt and reevaluate after the month.

"No problem bro, anything for you. We have to stick together against the rents." That we do.

I waved Em off and immediately stripped my clothes off chucking them inside the cave and headed down for a swim. I swam for some time soaking up the sun and tranquility. When my stomach rumbled, I headed back to the cave to start dinner. I took a look at my clothing and decided what the fuck I'm alone, no need for them and so started my clothing optional retreat.

Each day I was there, I could feel the stress leaving my body. It was the best decision I've ever made. Well that and the no shaving or clothing part too. By the end of the week I was feeling blissed out.

On Sunday starting my second week, I walked out of my cave to find the sun shining and a light breeze. Yes, another perfect day in paradise. I stretched my arms over my head and leaned my head back to catch the sun on my face and listen to the sounds of the ocean and rustling leaves. Wait rustling leaves? Ah, guess the wind picked up again.

That's when I heard the gasp followed by a high pitched squeak. I quickly put my arms down and looked, but not fast enough.

"OH MY GOD!" She yelled before fainting dead away heading my way. I put my arms out to catch her and would have except for the small boy who tried to grab the woman, but instead fell into my leg which caused us all to go down into a heap on the ground.

"Oh fuck!" I exclaimed.

"Owww, you said a bad word, you have to give me a dollar." The little boy told me.

"Well little one, when one gets plowed down to the ground sometimes that happens." Yeah that sounded plausible.

"First, I'm not little and my name is Seth." Seth exclaimed indignantly.

"My mistake, Seth, but being her on the ground, I'm having a little trouble with seeing how big you are right now."

"Okay, mister. What's your name? Are you a bad man? Can you help my mommy? I think she's hurt? Can we stay here? Can you hide us? How come your face is so hairy?"

"Well that's a lot of questions. My name is Edward. I'm not bad. I'll see what I can do for you and your mommy. And as far as why my face is so hairy is that I've been having a little vacation for myself here and decided not to shave."

I hope that settles him down because his mommy is laying face down on my dick and her hot breath on my balls is not helping the growth spurt my dick seems to be having right now.

"Okay, can you help mommy?"

"Yes, but first, why don't you go over there and in that bin by the cave get out the medical kit. It's a white box with a red cross on top." He turned to go do that which was a good thing so I could get her off my dick and he wouldn't see anything.

I pushed her lovely brown hair to one side and started to try to wake her up. "Hey, hey, wake up." I quietly shook her. Well that was a big mistake as her face nuzzled me. "Oh holy fuck, shit, crap on a cracker." I hissed out.

I shook her again and she seemed to start to come out of it. Clearly luck was not on my side as Seth returned with the medical box in hand just as she opened her eyes and jumped off me tumbling back onto the ground. I quickly sat up and covered what I could of my now totally aroused, hard as granite cock and tried to will it down. Not happening.

"Mommy, mommy, you're okay?"

"Yes, Seth, I'm okay, just a little cut on my leg. Come here away from…" she waved a hand towards me. "Come here Seth."

"No mommy, Edward's going to fix you up. See I even have the box of medicines for you." He waved the box at her.

"Oh honey, I don't think we should bother…him…Edward." She blushed looking at me. I didn't miss her eyes travelling down to my hands that were trying to contain the beast who wanted to get a good look at who was breathing all over him. It had been too long since he was allowed out to play and no that he was out and received some attention; he was all for staying up and out.

"Well, it's no bother. I can fix you up."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure, but first I may need to put some shorts on or something." I looked towards the cave.

"Oh, um…yeah…even a grass skirt would be okay, if you have one, not that I think you have one, just…well…that might be a good idea." She turned even redder. "By the way my name is Bella." Pretty name for a pretty lady.

I quickly ran into the cave tossed on my grass green shorts, not a skirt, that I had discarded the first day I was here and tossed them on. I headed back outside just in time for Seth to start questioning his mother.

"Mommy, why is Edward's pee-pee so big? Why is it hairy? I'm not hairy and mine isn't that big, why?"

Oh god children and their questions. I looked at Bella who was now beet red, stammering, while trying to figure out what to say to the inquisitive mind of Seth.

"Ah…umm…uh…" I couldn't contain my laugh, but knew I had to help her out.

"Come here Seth, I can answer those questions for you." I saw Bella's eyebrows shoot up into her hairline as Seth turned and walked over to me. She still couldn't get any words out.

"First, how old are you?"

"I'm six, I'm a big boy." So proud.

"Yes, six is big. It's just that you're still growing and when you get bigger, say another few years, you'll start to get hair on your face, chest, legs and pee-pee." I had to hold back my laugh, god Em should see me now referring to my dick as a pee-pee. "That all happens as you grow up."

He seemed to be mulling it over and thinking about what I said, good, hopefully that answered everything.

"Will my pee-pee get that big too, like yours did when mommy was laying on it because it wasn't that big before she was laying on it." Oh good grief.

"Yes, when you're older." Well that stopped the question train. "Now let's fix mommy. Can you go inside and get me a bottle of water."

"Thanks for doing that Edward, I know that was hard to explain. You did a great job." She blushed at me.

"He is so full of questions."

"Always." She laughed and that was the sweetest sound. "So can I ask why you're up here, alone and naked?"

"It's a retreat for me away from the real world for a bit."

"Oh, seems like a nice place here."

"It is, now let's see about the cut you have so we can fix you up and maybe get some food going. I bet you guys are hungry."

"I could eat a bear!" Seth exclaimed.

I cleaned her leg up which had some minor scrapes and cuts which in this environment probably would've become infected if left untreated. We all then enjoyed a small breakfast.

"I'm sorry we're digging into your food supply."

"Not at all, I have plenty." Well I did thanks to Em, but we'd have to watch the supplies as Seth really could almost eat a bear. "Hey, how about we all go for a swim?"

"YES!" Seth cheered.

"Well, I don't have anything to swim in," Bella stated.

"Not to worry, I have a plan." I rummaged in the bag I had and pulled out a black t-shirt. "Here, change into this and just wear your underwear. Seth and I can swim naked."

"COOL!" Seth quickly ran into the cave to strip off his clothes.

"Bella, don't worry about it. I can see you thinking too hard over there. Your underwear and my t-shirt will give more coverage than the average swimsuit, and as far as me naked, well you've seen it all so no sense in hiding." Ah, hell I've become a nudist, but she smiled, so worth it.

"Okay." That was easier than I thought.

We all swam in the ocean together, had lunch, swam some more. I was surprised that Seth swam so well, but then he told me that his grandpa Charlie taught him because otherwise he wasn't allowed to go out fishing with him on his boat.

"Hey Edward, toss me in the air?" I looked at Bella and she nodded okay. After several tosses, Seth thought it was time to toss mommy.

"Well mommy, how about a toss?" I swam over to her, I could see her blushing as I came closer.

"Okay, but not too high." She smiled.

I grabbed her around her hips and whispered in her ear. "Now scream as loud as you want and make it good so Seth knows you love it." As she flew through the air limbs going askew screaming loud and proud as both Seth and I laughed.

Over the next several days, we enjoyed the fun and sun. I was having the time of my life and was happy to not be alone. I knew our supplies were running low and I was never more thankful that I knew Em would be here soon with more supplies that he insisted he bring.

After dinner that night, the air seemed to chill a little more and while I never asked Bella what she was running from, I did note that she basically only had the clothing on her back and few things in a small backpack for Seth. Whatever they were running from they left in a hurry.

I pulled out the extra sleeping bag, thank you Em, and got ready for bed tossing on my one pair of boxer briefs because I knew Bella and I would have to share. That pair was saved from my mother because I was wearing them!

Bella and I snuggled into the bag with me while Seth had the single one on the cot.

"Sorry the accommodations have to be shared tonight since it's so cold," I apologized.

"I'm not sorry." I felt her small warm hand trace over my chest, moving down and down, until it slid under the band and she grasped me.

"Fuck!"

"Yes, please."

I quickly looked to see Seth was fast asleep and flipped her onto her back. Our lips met in an equal battle that no one wanted to win, just enjoy it. I moved my hands up under my shirt and stripped her bare. Every night Bella would wash her underwear and it drove me crazy knowing she was naked under my t-shirt. Her feet hooked into my boxers and I was free too.

I settled between her legs rubbing my cock up and down her warm wet slit.

"God Bella, this is going to be fast."

"Yes, now." She demanded. I was crazed when the feeling came over me like a tsunami. I lined myself up and slid home. "Yes, yes, more."

Her legs wrapped around my waist and I increased my speed. I could feel her nails scraping my back, god it felt good.

"Say you're close Bella."

"Yes." I felt the tingling in my balls and knew I had to get her there. I reached down circling her clit causing her walls to spasm around my cock, but when she clamped down, I was gone. I was cumming like I never had before and I could feel Bella joining me in the ecstasy.

I collapsed onto her body breathing heavily while her arms held me together. "God that was…I can't even…wonderful."

"It was everything and more." Bella stated kissing my forehead.

"It was." I agreed. I also realized that I was probably crushing her so moved over to the side and we snuggled one another. "Oh hell, we didn't use anything." Stupid me.

"Don't worry, it took forever to get pregnant with Seth, so I'm sure it's okay."

"Alright." I was clearly mellowed out by my orgasm and living here.

The next day, it warmed up so that we could continue our routine of swimming and fun. After lunch Bella decided she was going to rest a bit and said that 'her boys' should go and have fun in the water. I liked that we were her boys.

I kissed her on the forehead and said, "Come on Seth, let's go play in the ocean." He grabbed my hand and off we went. All afternoon we played in the ocean waving to Bella every now and then as we could see her watching us with a smile on her face. I was never so happy.

The next few days were spent the same sun, fun, swimming and making love to Bella. At this point I had no idea how long I'd been living in my cave, nor did I care.

As usual we all headed down to the beach, when Bella smiled and said, "So my boys" I loved that we were her boys "I have a surprise for you when we get back to the cave."

"What, what mommy." Seth excited jumped up and down asking and I decided to do the same.

"Tell us." I pouted and Bella burst out laughing.

"You'll see soon enough."

"Okay," Seth said and took off for the water.

"Is this why you didn't join us for the last two afternoons?"

"Maybe." She sing-songed as we swung our hands as we walked.

"Hmmm, I love surprises." I truly did, but Seth not so much. We barely made it until lunch when he couldn't wait any more, so we headed back to the cave.

"Okay, so now close your eyes." I complied, guess Seth did too. "Okay, now open them."

"What are those?" It looked like a bunch of palms or something.

"I made us all grass skirts." She smiled from ear to ear. All I knew was this woman made me something, me, because she wanted to. "Well..I…"

I had to stop the rambling. "They're great, which one is mine and how do you get it on. Seth what do you think?"

"They're cool Edward. Now we can dance."

"Good idea, maybe mommy can teach us?"

"Yeah, mommy, teach us."

Bella attached a skirt around me, Seth and herself and before you know it we were dancing fools.

I grabbed Bella and started to sing, My Girl and some other fun songs with Seth joining too.

"What one should we do next?" I asked Seth.

"I know, I know, let's to do the funky chicken."

"Okay." I laughed and hummed the tune.

Just as I jumped turned and wiggled my ass I heard the booming "Hidie-ho good neighbor. Holy fuck, Edward, you're naked!" Exclaimed Emmett.

Quickly, Bella and Seth ran behind me holding onto me. "Who is he?" She whispered and she seemed a bit frightened. I knew Seth said he wanted me to hide them and I just didn't press her for information, nor would I.

"Yup, naked as a jaybird and loving it."

"Well, who are these lovely people dancing with you?"

"Bella, Seth, this is my brother Emmett. He came up here today to bring some supplies. Obviously, we're going to need more since Bella and Seth are living with me."

"Nice to meet you Bella, Seth." He stuck out his hand and Seth ran to shake it.

"I'm Seth. Are you going to dance with us? We don't have another skirt, mommy only made three, but you can borrow mine, just take your clothes off and throw them in the cave. We can dance and then go swimming, can you toss me in the water too like Edward."

"That's a lot of questions there Seth, but yes, I'm totally on board with having fun." Em laughter boomed.

I whispered to Bella, "Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean he's about to get naked and all?" I had to be sure since she hasn't gotten naked herself due to Seth and his potential endless questions about why she has boobs and is different, but on the upside I did have her naked every night. My cock has never been so happy. We even have done a little moonlight skinning dipping after Seth falls asleep.

"It's fine, what's one more naked man. Although, my eyes are only for your nakedness."

"Damn, I think I love you." Oops that kind of slipped out, not.

"Well, I don't think, I know I love you." She stated emphatically.

I kissed her passionately and told her, "I love you too." Kissing her again until I heard throat clearing.

"Are they always like this Seth?" Em asked.

"Yup, isn't it great!" It certainly was great.

I turned removing my grass skirt and nodded at Seth to do the same. "Ready, Em."

"Hell, yeah." He tossed his clothing into the cave and we all ran to the beach.

I was relaxed, stress free and had a wonderful woman by my side with her equally sweet son and my wildly crazy loving brother. It was indeed paradise. I could live here forever in my cave and dancing in a grass skirt with my family.

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